nightmares. every night it's nightmares. i close my eyes against the harsh white light. and the biting cold wind. and in the forced darkness i see shadows invading me. in my blindness i feel his uncaring touch. my mind screams in helpless, futile protest. and my eyes would open again, escaping back into the blinding light.

silencing a gasp of anguish as i escape back to the waking world. i resolve to finally stop being stubborn, and call on you. at least, if only, in my dreams, let me call on you. let me run, eyes tight shut, as i fall into you. let me feel you hold me again, so strong yet so gentle, the embrace that i may never feel again. let me feel safe.

God, let me feel safe.